Dementophobia is defined in the dictionary (reddit) as, “the excessive or irrational fear of going insane.”
As it turns out, a long term stay in a mental institution only exacerbates this fear.
“The doctor just diagnosed me with Narcissism. Not to make too fine of a point, but have we ever resolved whether these doctors are MDs or PHDs?”
“I looked up Narcissism online (again, reddit) and discovered that it is the scientific equivalent of a delusional asshole. Meanwhile, every morning I am on my hands and knees cleaning everyone’s trash out that fucking fridge. I can definitely see this diagnosis for you though. No offense. Maybe wash your mug once in a while.”
My self-righteous indignation at the inequity around the division of communal chores was still in its nascent stages.*
Judy, an experienced prosecutor, intimated daily that crimes were being committed against the patient population, or, more specifically, herself.
“They are making me believe that I am crazy. I was totally fine before I came here. Now I feel hopeless and like I’ll never have a normal life again. I am not taking those medications anymore. They don’t do anything.”
We all nodded in silent support.
Unfortunately, Judy suffered from intense paranoia and hypochondria. The medication was doing a lot, but, as they say, hindsight is 20/20.
Judy’s real undoing was prompted during a group run by a provocative doctor at the hospital. The doctor was the same age as me. Anyways, this is an irrelevant detail and something I barely think about.
The doctor asserted that we were a group of Severely Mentally Ill patients. (Going forward I will refer to this incident as the SMI affair. SMI is now trademarked, obviously.)
Most of us took the Doctor’s assertion in stride. We discussed how it would be helpful if we ever had to plead insanity, but otherwise it had no relevance. Sure we were down on our luck, and had made some poor choices, but it was like “Poet Laureate” Robert Frost once said so eloquently - we had simply chosen “the road less traveled.”
Judy became hysterical.
*Eventually, I would spill a bunch of rotten vegetables onto a girl’s pillow to help her reconsider her contribution. I have always considered myself a humanitarian of sorts.